The Male Privilege Checklist
By: Barry Deutsch
In class we discussed "The Male Checklist" and a discussed few of the different numbers listed. The assignment is to pick a number and write whether you agree or disagree that the privilege in fact privileges men.
#11: IF I HAVE CHILDREN AND PROVIDE PRIMARY CARE FOR THEM, I'LL BE PRAISED FOR EXTRADIONARY PARENTING IF I'M EVEN MARGINALLY COMPETENT.
Traditionally it was ok for the man to just priovide primary care for his children and be seen by society as a great father. If it came in to question as to why he didnt spend time or bond with with his children he would be excused because he provided for them exceptionally in other forms. Now in the year 2010 man are now being hit with the expectation to not only be great providers in the already traditional form but to break new ground by providing care for children by bonding and parenting.
Due to previous traditions and the lack of fathers willing to even provide primary care now a days this mentality stills flourish. If a family has a father in the period picture but one that is able to provide that primary care that is an essential it is seen as a blessing.
Even though over the course of time and in todays day and age it seems fathers pay for just providing primary care for there children in some cases. Without bonding and parenting children now question whether there fathers are turly into them and care to be around them. They ponder on thoughts that even more push away chances for bonding later on and life and ultimately care less about their father and more for the primary care he provides.
Yet all is not lost because now in days there are alot of fathers who provide both the traditional primary care and the bonding and parenting that unite and builds a very strong family.
So in the end I do not like the idea that men can just provide primary care and be seen as a hero, why not put forth the effort and become that hero and truly earn the praise and benefits that benefit not only you but your family. So I honetly cant say I agree its a privelege to men or not because I think that is based upon the individual situation and the mind-fram of the man in question. Personally for me I wouldnt be happy knowing I was privileged to be seen as a great father by society knowing I didnt give my all.
This is a great analysis of the 'privilege' Deutsch metiones, men enjoy as they are praised for doing even the minimal amount of child rearing. Your post covers not only the effects this has on men and their relationship with their children, but also on the children's perception of fathers. We can take this even further and think about what the new generation of men will think of their role as fathers if their fathers set a bad example? Also, think about how women fit into this picture? Do you think women are part of the problem and claim to be the more capable care takers?
ReplyDeleteFor future generations that have gone through the experience of having a "bad example" for a father I think it will create a a variety of different situations. I think for some it will provide an inspiration to be better fathers to there children then there fathers were to them which would be an amazing step in the right direction. For some men they could want to not want to be like there fathers but because this "bad example" is somewhat acceptable and excused it provides room for them to give themselves excuse if they find themselves recreating there fathers in a new generation. Sad to say but unfortunately there will be some who will completely recreate those "bad examples" without any thought for trying to make a change for the better.
ReplyDeleteI think women play certain roles in the creation of this "bad example" of fathers that exist today. Some women have been tradiional thought and influenced that man can provide just primary care for their children and thats all that is required. Some I feel allow its existence for personal gain whether it be they want the main responsibility of caring for the children or enjoy the financial benefits of there male counterparts "primary care giving" nature. Something I will I have noticed is that today women are more willing to challenge there male counterparts to doing more and being more for there families. So maybe even woman to are taking a step in the right direction to rid society of its acceptance of "primary care giving fathers".
* Also recreated as a new post.